Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Thoughts

"How do you know whether it is time to continue fighting & holding on to something, or whether it is time to let go?"

I've had some trouble lately as far as what to blog about. My days, while definitely not boring, just don't seem "blog-worthy". :) So, I decided to try a "thought-of-the-day" thing on-line and the above is one of the questions. I can relate to it, a lot. So, here it goes!

This question is in regards to relationships/friendships. First, I have to admit that I enjoy fighting and I am a very stubborn person. My initial reaction to situations like this is fight to the death. You don't give up and you never let go! When I was younger (and prior to several broken hearts), that's how I lived. It's easy to look back and toss that fearless attitude out, blaming it on being young and stupid, but I do miss it sometimes!

I have known some amazing people in my life. Some remain in my life and some don't. I have fought and lost; I have fought and won; I have fought and walked away. I think that I am probably more likely to fight because I struggle with some abandonment issues. I joke about it often, but my parents' divorce has left scars.

A few months ago I reached a point in a relationship that was new for me. It hurt to fight. It hurt to talk. It just hurt. I'm sure this has happened to everyone, but it was a first for me. I'm sure that there was a time earlier on when walking away from it would have been less painful, but I did not see the signs. And I'm sure the signs where there, but I probably just ignored them (I have issues!). Relationships/friendships should be beneficial to both people. Healthy relationships have to be two-sided. And if some fighting needs to be done to make it work, both people should be fighting. I can't fight for it alone.

Just my basic thoughts on the subject.

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