Poor blog, so neglected. I'm really going to try and get better at this, definitely need to for the sake of my mental health. :)

My mind has been racing with thoughts for about the last month. Life's normal stress and anxiety seemed to kind of pile on me, and life left no free time to dig out of the pile. And then I got a phone call telling me that my brother, Joshua, had been found dead. Losing someone you love has a way of putting everything into perspective. The week of the funeral seemed to go in slow-motion; even memories from that week are in slow-motion. And my dear friends who supported me that week.......words will never begin to explain how grateful I am.

All the perspective and slow-motion pushed my inner monologue into overdrive. Being in my head so much allowed me to start working through my grief, but it also has helped me change the way I see people. I tend to see people through my expectations of them, rather than who they really are. And that has worked out pretty well for some people, because my expectations gave them way too much credit. Then other people, who I held unnaturally high expectations for, constantly let me down. No more! My expectations will no longer control how I see people. You are who you are. Period.

So, fair warning to all: I am attempting to rejoin normal society! I still find myself in my head way too much, but I figure just jumping back in be easier in the long run. Yes, I am still that same girl, but my outlook is different and I will not falling back into my normal routines. <3