Lilly is staying with me again tonight! After we read our book, Lilly asked to watch "Beauty and the Beast" in my room. She usually watches a movie until she falls asleep and "Beauty and the Beast" is one of her favorites. I got her settled and turned on the movie. About 20 minutes later, she came walking down the hall and said, "Sarah, I need to tell you something,"she sniffled a little and continued, "he scared me". And then she was all out crying! Poor thing! Apparently, the Beast was more scary than usual. So, Lilly ended up falling asleep on Aunt Sarah.
Let me tell you how awesome it felt to be the one that Lilly needed; I saved her from the scary beast! Now, I'm sure that if I was a full-time parent and had to deal with "scary" things every night, I would've been annoyed by this. But, since I don't have kids every night, I loved it.
And now, I'm thinking (dangerous, I know). How often do I deprive God of this joy? How many times do I turn somewhere else when I'm scared? We are told to come to the Lord like a child and I fail at that so many times. Lilly was scared, by the Beast, but not scared to come to me and tell me that she was scared. Why do I feel like I have to try and deal with what scares me instead of just going to God and saying, "I'm scared" ?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The last few days.......
WARNING: The following post is about what has happened in my world the last few days and my emotional response to it all. It is not coherent. It may not make sense. Sorry!
Since Wednesday night I have had kids at my place. Caleb and Lilly have been staying with me due to the arrival of Dylan Christopher. Kaytlin has stayed over a few nights because she wanted to join the fun. I love having the kids! And, bonus, I got to drive the mini-van! Woooohooooo! I have been living the dream!
Dylan Christopher..........just a beautiful baby boy! Getting to share his birth with Crystal, David, the families and other friends was truly a blessing. Caleb is a very proud big brother and Lilly adores her little brother.
I have gotten a lot less sleep than my normal, partly because of the kids and partly because my mind has been racing. You know that horrible point when your mind jumps from one subject to the next and never shuts off---that's where I've been. And of course, all of the subjects my mind keeps hopping around are things I can do nothing about.
Other than that, I just want to say that I am making some major changes in my life. Some people will not like the changes, some will, and I'm sure that some people will not notice. But, I'm not making the changes for others, this is for me.
<3
Since Wednesday night I have had kids at my place. Caleb and Lilly have been staying with me due to the arrival of Dylan Christopher. Kaytlin has stayed over a few nights because she wanted to join the fun. I love having the kids! And, bonus, I got to drive the mini-van! Woooohooooo! I have been living the dream!
Dylan Christopher..........just a beautiful baby boy! Getting to share his birth with Crystal, David, the families and other friends was truly a blessing. Caleb is a very proud big brother and Lilly adores her little brother.
I have gotten a lot less sleep than my normal, partly because of the kids and partly because my mind has been racing. You know that horrible point when your mind jumps from one subject to the next and never shuts off---that's where I've been. And of course, all of the subjects my mind keeps hopping around are things I can do nothing about.
Other than that, I just want to say that I am making some major changes in my life. Some people will not like the changes, some will, and I'm sure that some people will not notice. But, I'm not making the changes for others, this is for me.
<3
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"On the Night You Were Born"
I have this routine when Caleb and/or Lilly spend the night at my place. Before bed, I read them the same book each night, 'On the Night You Were Born'. I love the book and Lilly has parts of it memorized, which makes it all the more amazing! Tonight, reading the book was even more special, since we are all waiting for Dylan Christopher to be born.
Here's my favorite part:
"For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again...
Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born."
Lilly's favorite part is when it talks about the lady bugs that land and decide to stay, of course!
And tonight, as Lilly sleeps, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have several special children in my life. I have plenty of kids to love at the center, but there are three that I get to be really involved in their lives. Caleb (aka "Booger") is five years old. He is so smart and funny, and it's really hard to believe he's going to kindergarten in August. I know it will break my heart when he becomes too cool for hugs and kisses! Caleb's little sister, Lilly (aka "Lilly-Bug"), will be 3 years old in July. I was worried that I wouldn't be as close to her as I am with Caleb because I didn't get to keep her as an infant. I kept Caleb until he was almost two while Crystal worked and I loved every minute of it. When Lilly came along, I was working day-shift at the center and couldn't keep her. She started at my center around 7 months and I snuck in her room on every break I could get! The closeness has not been hurt! And last, but not least, is Kaytlin (aka "Short-Stuff") who is 3 years old. Kaytlin started at my center in the toddler room. I baby-sat for her a few times and I've become very close friends with her parents. Kaytlin and Lilly are BFFs! And it's pretty adorable!
And now I'm waiting for this new little bundle, Dylan Christopher! Just so very thankful that God has blessed my world with these special little people (and that they have parents who allow me to be in their lives)! Love you all!!!
Here's my favorite part:
"For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again...
Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born."
Lilly's favorite part is when it talks about the lady bugs that land and decide to stay, of course!
And tonight, as Lilly sleeps, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have several special children in my life. I have plenty of kids to love at the center, but there are three that I get to be really involved in their lives. Caleb (aka "Booger") is five years old. He is so smart and funny, and it's really hard to believe he's going to kindergarten in August. I know it will break my heart when he becomes too cool for hugs and kisses! Caleb's little sister, Lilly (aka "Lilly-Bug"), will be 3 years old in July. I was worried that I wouldn't be as close to her as I am with Caleb because I didn't get to keep her as an infant. I kept Caleb until he was almost two while Crystal worked and I loved every minute of it. When Lilly came along, I was working day-shift at the center and couldn't keep her. She started at my center around 7 months and I snuck in her room on every break I could get! The closeness has not been hurt! And last, but not least, is Kaytlin (aka "Short-Stuff") who is 3 years old. Kaytlin started at my center in the toddler room. I baby-sat for her a few times and I've become very close friends with her parents. Kaytlin and Lilly are BFFs! And it's pretty adorable!
And now I'm waiting for this new little bundle, Dylan Christopher! Just so very thankful that God has blessed my world with these special little people (and that they have parents who allow me to be in their lives)! Love you all!!!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Waiting Room
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I really dislike waiting rooms. I have a lot of patience when it comes to working with children, but I have very little when it comes to waiting. I don't like to stand in lines, get stuck at traffic lights, wait for people who are late, wait for a machine at the gym, or sit in a waiting room. Weird, huh? I mean, I really don't have an abundance of free time and it really bothers me to "waste" my time waiting!
Recently, in my small-group study, we talked about our dislike of waiting. I was relieved to learn that it was not just me. We talked a lot about how we spend our time and that we all need to have some time to just be still. Being still allows us to focus on the Lord and to listen for His voice, to let Him show us where He is working and how He is moving. We miss all this by simply surviving through our lives. I am so guilty of not being still. We were challenaged to use those times of waiting to practice being still. And I have been! I do need much more practice, but I have actually enjoyed standing in line at the store lately!
God gives us different types of waiting periods in our lives. Several of my friends are in waiting periods right now. Some are waiting for jobs. Some are waiting for a baby to be born (a baby who is currently 5 days past his due date!). Some are trying to have babies. Some are waiting to move. Some are waiting to heal. Some are waiting on another person. Some are just waiting for direction. And I'm in a waiting room as well. It's frustrating and I just want to be done waiting. If I had a remote control that could fast-forward through this, I would be very tempted to use it (even after seeing "Click"). This is not my first waiting room and I'm sure it won't be my last. Looking back, I have learned some important lessons in waiting rooms, lessons I could not have learned elsewhere. I was reminded of some of those waiting rooms tonight when I came across this song. I can remember the first time I heard it. I was in a period of waiting that I thought would NEVER end! This song just encouraged me and through it, God provided an amazing peace.
Friends, believe or not, this waiting room is from God and it is a good time that is serving His purpose!
I really dislike waiting rooms. I have a lot of patience when it comes to working with children, but I have very little when it comes to waiting. I don't like to stand in lines, get stuck at traffic lights, wait for people who are late, wait for a machine at the gym, or sit in a waiting room. Weird, huh? I mean, I really don't have an abundance of free time and it really bothers me to "waste" my time waiting!
Recently, in my small-group study, we talked about our dislike of waiting. I was relieved to learn that it was not just me. We talked a lot about how we spend our time and that we all need to have some time to just be still. Being still allows us to focus on the Lord and to listen for His voice, to let Him show us where He is working and how He is moving. We miss all this by simply surviving through our lives. I am so guilty of not being still. We were challenaged to use those times of waiting to practice being still. And I have been! I do need much more practice, but I have actually enjoyed standing in line at the store lately!
God gives us different types of waiting periods in our lives. Several of my friends are in waiting periods right now. Some are waiting for jobs. Some are waiting for a baby to be born (a baby who is currently 5 days past his due date!). Some are trying to have babies. Some are waiting to move. Some are waiting to heal. Some are waiting on another person. Some are just waiting for direction. And I'm in a waiting room as well. It's frustrating and I just want to be done waiting. If I had a remote control that could fast-forward through this, I would be very tempted to use it (even after seeing "Click"). This is not my first waiting room and I'm sure it won't be my last. Looking back, I have learned some important lessons in waiting rooms, lessons I could not have learned elsewhere. I was reminded of some of those waiting rooms tonight when I came across this song. I can remember the first time I heard it. I was in a period of waiting that I thought would NEVER end! This song just encouraged me and through it, God provided an amazing peace.
Friends, believe or not, this waiting room is from God and it is a good time that is serving His purpose!
Monday, June 21, 2010
I miss real conversations. I am not saying that I don't have real conversations, but I think that technology has gotten in the way of them. Text messages, e-mails, voicemails, FB chat, FB wall post, even phone calls.............not real conversations. I miss sitting with a friend at a park or restaurant and talking about life, catching up on what you've missed since you last saw each other. I just miss that personal contact. And, this might sound weird, but I miss hand-written letters! Hand-written letters are probably the next best thing to face-to-face conversations.
There is this conversation that I know I need to have with someone, but it needs to be in person and that is just not an option. So, does this mean I wait to have the conversation? Or have the conversation in another form? My immediate response is to just not have the conversation, but it becomes more obvious to me everyday that things must be said. Ugh! I guess that a phone call would be the next best thing, but I'm really not that good on the phone. I don't think things through on the phone, I just say whatever comes to mind. I like the thought of writing a letter, but letters are one-sided and I would probably be waiting a lifetime for a response.
I think that the real problem is that I don't want to have this conversation at all. But, I know I have to do it. Preparing to have this conversation must be proceeded with lots of prayer!
There is this conversation that I know I need to have with someone, but it needs to be in person and that is just not an option. So, does this mean I wait to have the conversation? Or have the conversation in another form? My immediate response is to just not have the conversation, but it becomes more obvious to me everyday that things must be said. Ugh! I guess that a phone call would be the next best thing, but I'm really not that good on the phone. I don't think things through on the phone, I just say whatever comes to mind. I like the thought of writing a letter, but letters are one-sided and I would probably be waiting a lifetime for a response.
I think that the real problem is that I don't want to have this conversation at all. But, I know I have to do it. Preparing to have this conversation must be proceeded with lots of prayer!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Jen made me do it!!!
Well, I'm not sure how this blog-thing goes. Jen and I were talking about her blog and various other blogs, and she decided I should do one as well. So, here it goes!
Amazingly enough, I got to go to church today even though it's my weekend to work. I love my church! I am reminded of that more and more these days. I am so thankful for a pastor and elders who stand on the Word! And for a church that is committed to reaching people in our neighborhood and all around the world!
So, this morning in church, God convicted me of a few things. At the heart of these convictions is the fact that I do not keep my eyes on Him as I should. Taking my eyes off of Jesus results in a bad attitude, a numbness to other people, a loss of purpose, and just a general dissatisfaction with my life. There are things in my life that I would like to change; things I desire; things I want to accomplish. And these are not "bad" things, but desiring these things more than I desire God and His will for my life, that makes it sin. If I am completely honest with myself, I know that God's way is the way I want to do things. I am just not a very patient person and I hate leaving things out of my own hands. But in reality, I have no control over all this stuff! None!
I can remember being a little girl and doing different things that made my parents laugh. Like wearing my dad's softball shoes, my mom's nightgown, and a plastic bowl on my head, pretending to go to work. I am pretty certain that God watches me and laughs on a regular basis. Not in a mean way, but in the same way my parents did. He's laughing and thinking, "She has so much more to learn". And I do! Wow, do I ever! I know it will take a lot of time for each lesson too, because for some reason I insist on learning the same lessons over and over again. Guess I am just stubborn that way!
Amazingly enough, I got to go to church today even though it's my weekend to work. I love my church! I am reminded of that more and more these days. I am so thankful for a pastor and elders who stand on the Word! And for a church that is committed to reaching people in our neighborhood and all around the world!
So, this morning in church, God convicted me of a few things. At the heart of these convictions is the fact that I do not keep my eyes on Him as I should. Taking my eyes off of Jesus results in a bad attitude, a numbness to other people, a loss of purpose, and just a general dissatisfaction with my life. There are things in my life that I would like to change; things I desire; things I want to accomplish. And these are not "bad" things, but desiring these things more than I desire God and His will for my life, that makes it sin. If I am completely honest with myself, I know that God's way is the way I want to do things. I am just not a very patient person and I hate leaving things out of my own hands. But in reality, I have no control over all this stuff! None!
I can remember being a little girl and doing different things that made my parents laugh. Like wearing my dad's softball shoes, my mom's nightgown, and a plastic bowl on my head, pretending to go to work. I am pretty certain that God watches me and laughs on a regular basis. Not in a mean way, but in the same way my parents did. He's laughing and thinking, "She has so much more to learn". And I do! Wow, do I ever! I know it will take a lot of time for each lesson too, because for some reason I insist on learning the same lessons over and over again. Guess I am just stubborn that way!
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